I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
