i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
