The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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