Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
