my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Damn victory sex feels great
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
