Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
