i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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