Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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