Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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