my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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