It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
