We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
