I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
