Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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