My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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