ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
