if you like me you must not know who I am
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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