other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
