hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
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this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....