How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize