see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize