Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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