I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think your dad took our porno
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
