Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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