i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize