I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
