I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
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Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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