She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
