just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
