He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize