If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
