The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize