I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
