Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
