I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you didnt know i had herpes?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
