Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize