Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i out mim tonsoeep
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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