He is such a slut. More and more my type.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
please come you make the beer taste better
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
