Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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