Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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