It's like a parade of train wrecks.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
