Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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