i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
