in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
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She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
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Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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