So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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