She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
ugly people sure do ruin things
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
