And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Two words: blizzard sex
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
