just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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