she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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