"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You may now shotgun with the bride
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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