Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
