well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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