he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
