I will die if light touches me.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
