Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
