if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
