the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
