I got chris browned last night
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
