She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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