drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
