well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
only you would photoshop your dick
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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