3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
