yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
