i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
