i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
