You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Randomize
